Our Conscious Love Story

“I know ‘love at first sight’ may sound unbelievable or even cliché, but for us, it was true. In January 1980, Gay gave a presentation at the graduate school where I was getting my Ph.D. and serving as the movement therapy professor. I went up to ask him a question at the morning break. I can’t remember the question, but I will never forget his answer. It changed my life.”

“Before I reveal my answer, let me set the stage. At the time, I had recently ended a years-long on-again, off-again relationship. It taught me what I wanted — and crucially, didn’t want — and how I aspired to show up in partnership. So when Katie approached me with a question, I said, ‘Before I answer that, I want to let you know I feel attracted to you and would love to ask you to have a cup of coffee with me. However, I need to let you know that I’ve just made a big commitment: I’m only interested in relationships where both people are committed to honesty, taking responsibility instead of blaming, and having a deep commitment to our creative paths. On those terms, would you like to have a cup of coffee with me?’”

That was it! I said, “Yes, I’d love to have coffee with you on those terms.” I immediately agreed, and upped the ante with, “How about lunch?” I knew what I was really saying yes to was what I’d always wanted. That was more than 40 years ago, and a lot has changed in our lives since then. But every step of the way, we’ve re-committed to our initial intention — creating a relationship that runs on positive energy, integrity, and honesty with ourselves and each other.

“Our relationship is an ongoing practice and a living experiment. We strive every day to celebrate each other, support each other’s genius, transform the blame game and instead take personal responsibility, and to view each other through a lens of gratitude and wonder. Our relationship fuels us and gives us energy to pour into supporting others’ transformation.”

“We’re committed to helping others expand their capacity to give and receive love. We’ve infused the learnings from our own relationship into our work. We’ve written more than 40 books, trained thousands of coaches, and appeared on Oprah, CNN, CNBC, and more. Through our seminars and mentorship work, we’ve supported thousands of transformations. Still, we are awed by each one. Witnessing the power of conscious love never gets old!”