Who Loves Ya, Baby?!

OUR BIGGEST RELATIONSHIP WOWS OVER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE – PART 18 OF 31

People often in close relationships often look for their partner to fill the love gaps in their hearts. That’s a dead-end strategy. Everyone has gotten some wounds growing up, and those wounds distort a direct experience of loving yourself. Until you stop arguing with your innate lovability, you don’t have enough bandwidth for conscious relationships. Over and over, we’ve seen clients sinking into the push-pull move: “please love me cause I don’t; WAIT—I can’t accept anyone’s love for THAT! There must be something wrong with you or me, so I’ll start an argument or withdraw now.” So the biggest task throughout life is to own and expand your experience of loving you. This doesn’t mean you excuse or overlook taking responsibility and being a grown-up. It does mean resting in a felt experience that you love yourself, which allows you to come to your close relationships as a whole person who’s growing and tender with you. Sucking up love through a leaky straw or growing more love all the time—your choice.

Read the full series: Our Biggest Relationship Wows